Just thinking...and Drinking...

I wish I was blind so I could feel you and be content. I wish I couldn't hear so when you spoke, the lies you told would be overshadowed with the fascination of your mouth moving. I wish I never fell in love between my ears because now anything said, I question. Strangers brush pass me and I smell you. You say I'm doing too much but to me your not doing enough.Thinking of a way to stop thinking. Now Im freaking linking songs, smells and places to you. Sometimes I wish I was a vegetable. I rather just sleep but now I'm a prisoner to my dreams of romance. I think to myself if I'm not your ONE, I don't want to be in that number because I'm worth so much more. You take pleasure in having me when you want...the problem is...there is a problem. And that entire act of desire was seemingly a front. If you can have who you want, when you want, then continue. And if I foolishly put myself back on the menu because I love you...don't let it offend you cuz I REALLY do. I see you want options and if there's just soo many options then stay opinionated because obviously the ability to choose me is the hard part. Yesterday was a lie... is true and tissues are irrelevant for what I need because now a towel will do. My tears flow like their never ending, their beginning to piss- me- off. I don't want to miss you. But that sentence is irrelevant cuz I do...and now my lips are chapped so im feeling it in other ways too. I stay busy then find reasons to hate you as time passes me by, but love is stronger than pride- days past eventually I say Hi. Ignoring your existance until I feel better about mines. Mindful of excapism; a drink here...a drink there...SHIT- it's 5'o clock somewhere.